Pastor Worship and Blog Theology

Recently, God in His great mercy reminded me of a time in my life when I took whatever came out of my pastor's mouth as what God Himself would say. I wouldn't check it against the Bible, and sometimes they got it wrong. They are human. They aren't infallible like my God. I would spout out what I believed not having checked it myself, and there is no telling how much damage I caused.

As I am reading a blog, or listening to a pastor at church, or listening to a podcast, or watching a youtube sermon, do I say to myself, "Yeah, that makes sense. I think I'll believe that," without checking it against God's Word? It's one of the best and easiest ways to be deceived. Many things can sound great, but they aren't based in scripture. Or something can be taken out of context, and that context is necessary, even essential, to the meaning of the passage. It's an easy trap to fall into, especially for particularly young Christians as I was at the time. Add that to the huge pride problem I had, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Reading the Bible was imperative to me if I wanted to change. How can I know God if I am unwilling to pursue Him by reading His Word? How can I know Him if I don't pray and ask Him to reveal Himself through the scripture that I am reading?  I had to ask myself these questions after my husband started memorizing John 15:1-17. He would say the verses aloud so often that I had most of them memorized by the time he was done. 

John 15: 5-6 (NIV) states: "I (Jesus) am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned."

How do I remain in Jesus? I read His word and pray. I pursue this one-on-one relationship with my Creator. I understand that I can't do anything without Him. 

So, now, it's confession time. I do not have a routine during the summer, and because of that it has become easier and easier to not read the Bible and have some quiet time with Jesus. The last two weeks I've only uttered a few "mini-prayers". There hasn't been any focused time trying to feed that relationship. 

The result has not been pretty. I've been a bear - grouchy, crabby, selfish.... you get the picture. I felt the anger that I thought that I'd dealt with 7 years ago slowly easing back in. These last two weeks have been stressful. This is our busiest time at church during the year, and our extended family has been through a tragic event. There's been tension between Michael and I, and the kids have been fighting more and more everyday. When I most needed to be full of Jesus, I ignored Him! So I took the cue today and finally spilled everything before God, knowing that He can handle it better than I. 

The result isn't that God has taken away my circumstances, but He has given me a better perspective and discipline to deal with things in better ways than I have been. I also haven't been angry today. Some days I just need God to give me a kick in the pants and remind me that my fruit is based in Him and Him alone. No one else can fill that void no matter how much I want them to fill it. Only He has the power to change me.

A Time to Change

Earlier this year, while I was meeting with one of my prayer partners, my friend commented that I had a lot on my plate. I went home with that one comment constantly replaying in my mind.

Being busy isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's biblical. Titus 2:4-5 (NIV) says, "Then they (speaking of older women) can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." (emphasis mine) But being busy outside of the priorities that God has outlined for you is wrong. My friend's comment forced me to take inventory for my various responsibilities and appointments throughout a regular week.

At the time I homeschooled three of my children and one went to public school, I led worship two to three times a month at our church, I was the treasurer of our church, I led a women's Bible study group each week, made dinner for another small group each week that my husband led, and met with a few different ladies to mentor them or pray with them. I had to get all of that done plus clean house, make dinner, and spend time with my husband. I was exhausted, and my prayer partner was trying to kindly point out that I was a hot mess. God bless her. I'm so thankful for her honesty. Not many people are brave enough to confront their friends.

When we sat down at our regular coffee place a couple of weeks later I confessed to her that I had added up the time that I spent away from my children in one week. It totaled 20 hours! I was astounded and so was she. I chose to homeschool because I didn't want anyone else to raise my kids, and here I am leaving them for 20 hours a week and not totally available to them the rest of the time.

I had to make some changes in my life. I had let my priorities get out of order, and my family was coming in last. I took the next two weeks and prayed. I asked God to show me what I needed to cut out of my life and what I needed to keep.

After our women's study was over, I handed over the women's ministry. I asked some friends if I could meet with them every other week instead of every week. With others I only meet with them when I have the time. My daughter that was in public school last year will be homeschooled this year. My kids help with the chores more, and I protect my evenings and weekends with my family.

Among the many things that God has taught me during this experience is the necessity of saying no. I always feel guilty when I tell someone no. But what I've found is that if I don't say no to them, I'm saying no to my family. My family is my responsibility, and I pray that those I say no to will understand.

Also if you have a lot on your plate as I did, you may not be doing those things well. I don't want to do many things half way. I would rather do a few things well. And my highest priority has to be the four precious kiddos that God has given me responsibility to care for and my husband who works his behind off for us everyday. They deserve the best of me.


How do I align my priorities? For me it's God first, marriage second, kiddos third, ministry and friends comes fourth. This doesn't always line up with the time spent with each one. I spend far more time with kids than I do with God or Michael. However, I make sure that those first two relationships are fed and healthy. Sometimes the quality of the time spent is more important than the quantity.

To make sure that I keep my priorities right, my friend is keeping me accountable. She has permission to ask me hard questions and tell me when things are headed in the wrong direction in my life. If you don't have a prayer partner, you should get one. Michael and I pray for each other and pray together, but having someone outside of your family that you trust and meet with on a regular basis is a blessing. You will never regret it.

What has worked for you? How do you protect your time with your family?